(Written last night)
Another quiet drive home... Lots on my mind due to this week's events - won't bore you with those and don't have the energy to type it all right now.
One of the biggest things on my mind right now is m-o-n-e-y and I hate how much hold over me that word has. It stresses me out A LOT! Are we saving enough? Are we making enough? Are we living paycheck to rent check to paycheck? What if life happens, are we prepared? There's so much that we want to be done with the house - are we focusing on the 'need' items and not the 'want' items? How do you appropriately prioritize everything? The basement-want that done, but not necessary; a new vehicle-need but truck still running today; extra bedroom and hall bath-need closet in bedroom and rework bath before little ones come; paint the house-not needed, I need to get over it; kitchen redo-it works as is now; new flooring-not needed but will soon; new roof and gutters-need items; What's going to happen come next August? Are we doing something wrong to feel so strapped (or is that just me?)? Gives me a headache and exhausts me just thinking about it all!!
Speaking of the fam, Daddio called tonight when I was moments from the house asking if I wanted to catch a movie. It always puts a smile on my face when he asks that...I enjoy spending time with him - even if it is just sitting quietly in the dark (is that strange?) I struggled with wanting to go, but already being home and seeing Hunter's wiggle butt excitement, it was too daunting to think of leaving him again for more than an hour's stretch. Do others have an internal conflict similar to this? I struggle with him most (the cats are more independent with the ability to entertain themselves outside) - wondering if I'm playing with him enough, if I'm giving him enough love, if I leave him alone too much. But then he climbs in the chair with me and licks my tears away which makes me laugh and smile, knowing his is unconditional love too. It's my own struggle within and I need to get a handle on it - all of it.
Thanks for listening...